ST. LOUIS, MO -- Steph and I returned last night from our week at Lake Tahoe (without the three ankle-biters). I know you will understand why I've kept a low profile from email and blogging during that time. We took the week to focus on one another. It's been ten years since we were married and two years since we have spent time away from the kids.
We return from our trip with a sense of fullness brought on by . . .
Snow-capped peaks of the Sierra-Nevada. Walks along the shores of a blue mountain lake, road trip conversations in the car (and, yes, some squabbling about map navigation). Lounging in our condo with an amazing view. Lazy mornings with nowhere to be. Good food. Good wine. Curiosity and listening to one another. Renewal of our marriage identity apart from offspring. Reading books -- some good, some mindless. Seeing movies -- all mindless. Sailing across Tahoe on a 55 foot catamaran.
We feel full.
Though I have maintained radio silence the past couple of weeks, I want to recognize the significant role you all have played in making last week possible, as well as this whole sabbatical. We have been protected and blessed in every way. Issues with travel and cars and health and other barriers have easily worked themselves out. God has shown up in a variety of ways.
Many of you have asked the question, "Ted, why are you doing this blog and email on your sabbatical? Sure, I'll pray for you, but I don't want you to spend your time communicating with us our answering our emails." Many of you have also stated that you haven't felt comfortable commenting on the blogs you are reading because you didn't want to be a bother or add something that isn't helpful.
As I was preparing spiritually for these two months away, I felt the temptation to seal myself off from community . . . to move into solitude and quality time with my family. And there is probably wisdom in this approach. But I sensed that God want me to do this journey with a group of comrades. Honestly, my life the past few years has been somewhat bereft of community. That's certainly not your fault. Out of fear, I've chosen to walk alone . . . to not share my heart fully in community. More accurately, I've been paralyzed in pursuing relationship. God said, "Don't do this alone anymore. Even while you are away from these people, step toward them. Walk together."
And many of you have accepted that invitation to walk together. Your prayers and your words have awakened something in me. I'm glad you're my companions in this.
One of C.S. Lewis' contemporaries, Charles Williams, once wrote, "The altar must often be built in one place in order that the fire from heaven may descend somewhere else." That's an apt picture of intercessory prayer in the context of community. We build altars. We ask God to move on behalf of a loved one. And though we may not see the fire descending from heaven in their lives, we nevertheless played our roles.
The Lord is nurturing and restoring me these days because of the altars you have built in prayer for me.
I'm glad we are together.
8 comments:
"....the search for truth presupposes the growth of *philia*. In such an environment, candles of fresh insight are lit, personalized and shared. The speaker or teacher steps down, unites people in a circle and invites them to share their insights--breaking the bread of truth together." --James M. Houston in *Joyful Exiles: Living on the Dangerous Edge of Things* (IVP, 2006)
In the wake of your last two posts, Ted, here are a few questions that have surfaced:
May God be helping us to see more clearly, through your example, our own need to cease from work on a regular basis?
Why do so few of us regularly experience the joys of Sabbath rest, renewal, and celebration?
What it would look like if we simply stopped and spent time with God for one whole day once per week? If we somehow discovered new ways to embrace the Sabbath, not in a rote or legalistic way, but through a different way of looking at God's amazing design for us?
Rather than viewing the Sabbath "as a means to an end," what wisdom may there be in just obeying God's command in this area?
Thanks for inviting us to join in the conversation: We're listening with grateful hearts for everything God is doing, here and there.
May your time away continue to daily re-create and renew you and your family—blessings to you, Stephanie, and your dear children!
Welcome back! Tahoe is one of my favorite places - especially at sunset on the water. I've just returned from South Africa and Zambia and stayed in a lodge with no electricity or hot water with a group of eight people. It was in the middle of Zambia and on a lake that connected Zambia and Zimbabwe. Between the frightening display of stars and the anxiety about the state of what was on the other side of the water it was like getting away for most of us! South Africa is like Austria with a seacoast. If I disappear, look for me in Stellenbosch.
Sounds like someone decided to unfold their arms and take their own risk in the name of "community". We should all be that trusting and brave, and pray that someday, we can be.
Good for you, and well done faithful servant! Thanks for trusting us to be here in your cyber-community.
Your week in Tahoe sounds like it was such a blessed time. So very thankful to Him!
Give Steph our love~
I am touched by the growing tone of peace and gentleness weaving itself through your writing.
Prayerfriend was so eloquent and wise in drawing from it. I confess I just keep thinking if I got to spend 10 days with Stephanie I'd mellow out, too. :-)
God is good.
I am filled with joy over what God is doing in your soul and between you and Stephanie. I want to celebrate with you but I don't know how...there's such a gap between what I desire and what I express.
What would it look like to close that gap?
I was so grateful to our Father for your couple time and was encouraged by what you wrote. The only thing you get to take with you when you leave the chains of this temporal body are the relationships you build. LOVE lives on. I challenge you to do the uncomfortable when you return, i.e., choose some of your blog friends to be in community with on a regular basis. We need your wisdom and strength and you need ours... apart we are only an arm or a toe trying to function as though we are complete. Enjoy the rest of your time. We love you and continue to pray.
I read your post earier this week but as I sit here at the end of THIS week, your message has a much deeper meaning to me now.
While for some, building a community of others to walk with is welcomed and almost effortless. For others, it can be painful and filled with emotional let downs from not only our past, but from the ones we are seeking to get to know.
I admit, I am in the second group of people. Sometimes I think I like to hide and like knowing that only Jesus and my husband know the "real me", but maybe I have been telling myself lies all this time. Maybe being authentic and venerable isn’t like watching a Stephen King movie afterall. Maybe it's bigger than my fears of rejection or judgment.
Ok, panic has set in now! Is there anyone else out there who struggles to be authentic or have real community like this? *Anyone, Anyone?*
I have felt God call me this week to seek those who will help build alters for my family and while I have fears about this, I am trying to trust him. I am much more comfortable building alters for others, but I believe he's trying to teach me a lesson (along with several others)about really being open and vunerable with others. That community is GOOD and needed for us to endure the trials of life this side of heaven.
I guess we build our community one step in faith at a time.
Karin ("trying to be authentic") Williams
It seems at this point in my life that the sounds of your "aloneness", and temptation to withdraw should not resound so loudly in my own heart, yet they do. Your writing reminds me much of my own, and I am blessed to know that someone 'thinks' to some degree like me. I continue to pray for y'all (as this is an individual, couple and family journey) and look fwd to hearing more about where God has you landing for this season. I am still "feeling my way" through the possiblities, remembering the quote of praying not to the God I think He is, but to the God He knows He is. Thanks for being so transparent, it leaves me feeling less 'alone'. We both love you and miss you. Hugs to Steph for me.
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